Revolutionizing The Workplace With Paid Maternity Leave

In the U.S., it’s illegal to separate a dog from her puppies before eight weeks old in twenty two states.

The American Kennel Club states this because for the first 8 – 12 weeks of a puppies life, they are “completely dependent on their mother.”

Unfortunately, the societal concern for the Mother-baby bond doesn’t extend to human Mothers.

“Nine months in and nine months out” is a common saying in the birthworld to highlight that the full gestation period for babies is far longer than just nine months.

Both phases of introgestation (inside the mother), and exogestation (outside but constantly close to the Mother) are needed for healthy development.

The Mother-baby bond is absolutely paramount for the survival and future thrival of both the mother and baby. During this sacred window of time, the Mother and baby are physiologically and energetically one.

As one of my beloved teachers, the late Dr. Ray Castellino, pioneer in the field of pre (meaning before birth) and peri (meaning around the time of birth) natal somatic psychology shares, “the Mother is the outer body of the infant.”

The nervous systems of the Mother and baby, until the social nervous system comes online (somewhere around the age of three) are one.

Their nervous systems are undifferentiated, meaning that everything the Mother feels, the baby feels. Everything the Mother experiences, the baby experiences. Although they may seem physically separate, energetically, they are one.

And if they are separated for whatever reason during this time, both systems will constantly be reaching out for one another, expending an incredible amount of energy to “track” where the other is in time and space.

I felt this the first time I went out to the garden alone when my daughter was two months old. I was gone for only 10 minutes (the longest I could stand to be away from her), and the entire time, I was looking up at our house, checking our bedroom window, and wondering if I was imagining her cries or really hearing them…

I was one of the few Mothers in the U.S. privileged enough to be at home with their baby at two months.

Because although both clinical research and traditional wisdom have proven the importance of developing a healthy mother-baby bond, our capitalist, patriarchal culture in the States doesn’t offer the social and financial framework for the bond to exist.

Remember what I shared that puppies are protected, by U.S. law, from being taken from their Mothers before 8 – 12 weeks (depending on the breed)?

In the U.S. there’s no law protecting human babies from the same separation. In fact, the policies around maternity leave basically guarantee an early separation.

Although 120 countries around the world provide paid maternity leave, in the U.S., there is no policy endorsing or mandating paid maternity leave. It was only in 1993 that the Family and Medical Leave Act was passed, protecting parents’ rights to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, if they work at a company with 50 or more employees.

If you’re reading this and have children, you already know the amount of time, energy, and money it takes to raise them.

This financial reality, combined with a patriarchal pressure for Mothers to bounce back to how they were before they had a child for fear of losing their career or status in the workforce, means few Mothers take advantage of the full 12 weeks anyway, that is if they are lucky enough to get it.

Of the percentage of Mothers who receive 12 weeks of unpaid leave, 25% take more than nine weeks, and 30% don’t take maternity leave at all. In the U.S., the average mother goes back to work at 5 – 6 weeks postpartum.

real life image of me at 5 weeks postpartum, does this look like a Mom who has the capacity to be back at work?

Hopefully by now, the dots are connecting into your mind as to why this whole situation is royally messed up.

And let me be crystal clear in stating that I would never, ever judge a Mother who decided to go back to work before 12 weeks. However, I do heavily judge a system that forces Mothers to make that choice by diserting them financially.

Mothers are the thread that holds together the fabric of our society, and I believe that much of the suffering we see in our world today is because collectively, we’ve abandoned them.

And although I can’t control everything that goes on with U.S. policy, I can influence what happens here at Womben Wellness.

Changing the Status Quo

When I found out I was pregnant, my business partner, Camille and I got together and spoke about our internal policies.

Together we decided that all employees at Womben Wellness would receive 4 months of fully paid maternity leave.

Are we a business with over 50 employees? Nope.

Are we mandated by law to give our employees any leave at all, paid or unpaid? Nope.

But do we believe in investing in the health of our womben, as well as the health of their children? Hell yes.

As I prepared to take my four months of leave prior to the birth of my daughter, I quickly found out the amount of effort and energy it would take to put my money where my mouth was…

Planning for Leave

As a team, we started prepping for my leave immediately.

I spent months and months pre-writing blogs, emails, and free downloads so that our collective of womben would have new content to devour while I was away.

Together as a team, we worked hard to make sure that our processes were efficient and plans were in line with our long-term vision while I was away.

It was so much work upfront, but the reward of not having to touch my phone, download any social media apps, or write anything while I was on leave allowed me to have the time I needed to process the soul-expanding, ego-annihilating journey of becoming a Mother.

Surrendering Control

Pre-writing and planning was a piece of cake in comparison to the energetic work required to lay down my own ego and surrender control of Womben Wellness.

Since it’s conception almost five years ago, I haven’t spent a day of my life not enmeshed in this work.

I thought Womben Wellness needed me… and for many years, it did. I was a single Mother working my butt off to nurture my metaphorical child.

But then, a little more than two years ago, I found a co-parent (the ever-amazing Camille), and my metaphorical child started to grow rapidly.

Soon many aunties (Kristina, Teril, Alex, Aninha, and Amanda) stepped in, and soon enough, Womben Wellness could walk, talk, and function on it’s own.

The realization that I wasn’t as essential as my ego wanted me to be to my own business was terrifying and liberating.

And realizing that I was not only supported, but encouraged, to take a step back from my regular workflow and focus on my recovery after birth and the bond with my baby, was life altering.

Our team at Womben Wellness showed me what it means to be a true feminine-based, womb-centered business in action – valuing the long-term physical and emotional health of our team members, over short term profit.

That is what’s required if we’re going to make a cultural shift around postpartum leave, to shift our societal value of profits over people.

And it’s going to take a village.

Will you join us?

Next month, I’m coming back from maternity leave and teaching my first live class on money and financial sovereignty inside our Inner Circle Membership.

Camille, our Co-Director, will be joining me to co-teach for the very first time. Now is your chance to secure your space for our three-month, in-depth exploration of creating financial sovereignty from a feminine-based lens before we advertise further.

I’M SO IN