Usha Anandi. 7 | JUL | 2020
One of the emotions I’ve struggled with expressing the most in my life is anger.
Maybe it was the fact that my father didn’t express his anger in a healthy way and I often felt silenced, projected upon, or unheard.
Maybe it was the narrative that if I was an angry woman, I was a bitch.
Whatever it was, I know I’m not alone. So many of the women that I work with struggle with the same.
In heteronormative, patriarchal society we learn to abide by gender rules. Although often unspoken, these rules affect us, the way we think, what we believe to be acceptable, and how we express ourselves.
Many women learn that anger is an unacceptable emotion to express. If you’re angry, you’re a bitch and nobody wants to be a bitch.
As someone who has healed through numbness, disconnection, and a sense of disembodiment after rape, reclaiming my inner bitch was the most powerful thing I’ve ever done.
Because what is a bitch, anyway?
A bitch is a pregnant mother with her teeth bared, smearing, growling and protecting what is sacred to her.
Learning how to embody my anger and express it in a healthy way was one of the most powerful catalysts in moving my body from a frozen state into a state of ALIVENESS again.
A lot of the trauma work that I’ve found and studied focuses mainly on deactivation and asks questions like – how do we move from a triggered state into a state of being okay… but rarely do people talk about ways to find pleasure, joy, and even greater fulfilment after trauma.
On my recent podcast with Julianne Vaccaro, I spoke about ways we can begin to embody our anger and move from a frozen state into one of presence, pleasure, and aliveness.